Passion, forget what you think it is.

Passion is tricky.

It seems that so many coaches and self help gurus toss the idea around as if it is easy to discover, easy to cultivate, and easy to live.

Many people I talk with have become convinced that they must have passion to be able to move forward with their lives after listening to these well meaning self help gurus. They often believe a necessary ingredient to life is passion and when one feels it lacking in their life, one can be left to feel as if they are lost. Even though they keep looking, spending time journaling, contemplating, and other activities to 'discover' their passion, it remains elusive.

Passion, like so many other inner qualities, needs to be cultivated. When someone comes to me looking for help finding their passion, we may discuss their interests, what they liked as a pre-teen. or some other thing to discuss. Money either has to be removed from the search, or if money is the passion, it must be owned, not justified.

All the above is great, but rarely creates results because passion is not a destination.

If one has attitude issues, those must be addressed first. If one has issues with willingness, this must be addressed. Both desire and commitment are necessary ingredients to passion, if one lacks either one, passion will be impossible. Passion is not a single idea, but rather many ideas, attitudes, behaviors, that when seen together are often identified as passion.

I tell people who are struggling with discovering their passion to start with what they like. It does not have to be what they love, it does not have to be altruistic or grand, it just has to be something that are willing to commit to and have enough desire to carry them through the difficulties of seeing it come to fruition. As long as they have the willingness, and as long as they practice the behavior, they will develop the skills it takes to turn likes into loves, and they will create the neural pathways that support the habits that not only passionate people possess, but successful people as well.

Disappointingly, I have discovered that most people don't have the willingness to make the sacrifices necessary to create the changes that support not only success and passion, but true wealth creation and personal freedom as well. As Morpheus said in The Matrix, "there's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path."

This video is a rare example of passion and the kind of desire and commitment it takes to make your passions become realities. I have adopted a line from it that really resonates as true; "The difference between the poor man and the rich man, the poor man plans for the weekend, the rich man plans the next four years."http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Fighting-your-passion-Inside-Look-4788872.S.251801863?qid=2d96cc09-1eda-4c8c-9d4a-84d3daa6df66&trk=group_most_recent_rich-0-b-cmr&goback=%2Egmr_4788872 

I have found that most of passions did not come to fruit until 3-5 years after I embarked on the journey. Patience is one of the other ingredients often over looked.

The Power Of Words, Turned Outside In.

The video above is touching.  It contains a great message, that often times it is not what we say, but rather, how we say it, that makes the difference.  I watched this video several times, thought about the implications when creating marketing to deliver a particular message about a particular product or service and wondered how many great products, services and ideas never saw success because of a poorly worded message.  I imagine the number is in the millions.

How many messages do we process on a daily basis?  Some studies indicate that the number is in the thousands.  What if each one was worded as well as this one, each one had an effective impact?  What if the most important messages we process through the day could have this impact?  What are the most important messages we process through the day? The ones we tell ourselves all day long, they have the most impact on what manifests in our lives on a day to day basis.

Our self talk is the single most important thing to be aware of.  Our self talk not only reveals our mindset, it determines how we are going to react throughout the day and it is what makes it possible (or impossible) for us to recognize opportunity when it comes our way. If you have never observed your self talk, it may be surprising.  We are our harshest critics, we manipulate the past to make it feel better, and we project into the future our worries and concerns. We have imaginary conversations that will never come to pass.  We use language with ourselves we would never use with anyone else. We misinterpret other people's reactions, we assume the wrong answers (though often times we delude ourselves into thinking we are mind readers), and we filter everything that comes to us through our self talk.  If our self talk is negative and debasing, what we experience will be negative and debasing, but if our self talk is healthy and supportive, there is no limit to what we can accomplish.  Our challenges become rewarding, and life's twists and turns become a source for excitement. Gratitude replaces regret, accountability replaces victim hood. The key to all self improvement begins with an inventory of and changing of your self talk.

A Letter To A Heart In Pain.

Often times the things we think we need to be happy are the very things that bring us pain later on. Xxxxxx, I have known you a long time and I KNOW that you need no one to complete yourself, but I am not sure you do. I agree with you, now probably is the time to put the walls up, sit with yourself and by yourself and get to know yourself better than ever before. Loving oneself is the first and only step needed to truly be able to love someone else.

Intimacy is tricky. I like to break the word down like this IN-TO-ME-SEE. That is why loving yourself is so important. If you can't look at yourself and love yourself, you will be incapable of allowing someone else to, or in other words, until you see into yourself, start to like what you see about yourself, you will never be able to find someone else who loves themselves and will allow you to get close to them. The neat thing about loving yourself is it gets easier and easier to see the people who don't love themselves and avoid getting involved with them, because invariably they will always hurt you, even when they don't intentionally mean to. Many of the women you have gotten involved with didn't mean to hurt you, they were just incapable of loving themselves so they couldn't ever really love you. When you love yourself you need no one else to love you, though it seems when you love yourself, you can never run out of people who do love you, it's as if by loving yourself you become a magnet for people to love you as well.

Another saying I have is "Expectations are just premeditated resentments." When you love yourself and can depend on that, you have no need to expect anything from anyone else. Thus, you avoid the resentment, because you never make the expectation. I have no expectations of the people I love, I just love them. If they choose a different path than the one we are sharing, it may be sad to see them go, but I know that I love myself so I will be okay, it is not life ending. Shortly after they go on their path, another joins me to share the time on the path that I am walking. Eventually they will grow a different direction and I will continue on my path. I think a major part of growth is change, and unfortunately, two people don't always grow the same way.

Remember when you came to Florida 23 years ago? In Springfield we were not even close to the friends we were in Florida. Florida was the time that our paths converged. Being new to Florida, we only had each other as friends, we depended on each other and had each other's backs. Then you grew one way, and I grew a different way. It wasn't a bad thing, after all, your fantastic career came as a result of your growth. Relationships are a lot like that, let it go, continue on your path and life will reward you with the rewards that come with accepting change.

Trust me Xxxxxx, you are okay. You don't need anyone else to love you, to be able to love yourself, you can do it all by yourself. Focus on you, let the details work themselves out and enjoy the fantastic life you have, because from where I am sitting, it appears to me that you have a fantastic life that lots of people would trade you theirs for yours.

Get your ass to Tucson, we will discuss it more. Take care buddy.

The progression of knowledge

I over heard an instructor with his student the other day talking about they way we learn.

He commented at first we are a unaware-incompetent, you don't know that you don't know. Then we become aware-incompetent, we know that we don't know. After that we can become aware-competent, we know.  And finally we become unaware competent, we no longer have to think about it, we just know it.

1. Unaware/Incompetent
2. Aware/Incompetent
3. Aware/Competent
4. Unaware/Competent

Do you invest in training to discover what you don't know?  Are you even aware that there are things about yourself you are not even aware of? Do you want to discover what stands in your way to unlimited success? It all starts with the awareness of your incompetence.  Once you know that you don't know, then the training can begin. Are you courageous enough to take that first honest step and discover exactly how limited you are?  If you would like to get to know yourself better than ever before, give us a call, 520-329-1969