Passion, forget what you think it is.

Passion is tricky.

It seems that so many coaches and self help gurus toss the idea around as if it is easy to discover, easy to cultivate, and easy to live.

Many people I talk with have become convinced that they must have passion to be able to move forward with their lives after listening to these well meaning self help gurus. They often believe a necessary ingredient to life is passion and when one feels it lacking in their life, one can be left to feel as if they are lost. Even though they keep looking, spending time journaling, contemplating, and other activities to 'discover' their passion, it remains elusive.

Passion, like so many other inner qualities, needs to be cultivated. When someone comes to me looking for help finding their passion, we may discuss their interests, what they liked as a pre-teen. or some other thing to discuss. Money either has to be removed from the search, or if money is the passion, it must be owned, not justified.

All the above is great, but rarely creates results because passion is not a destination.

If one has attitude issues, those must be addressed first. If one has issues with willingness, this must be addressed. Both desire and commitment are necessary ingredients to passion, if one lacks either one, passion will be impossible. Passion is not a single idea, but rather many ideas, attitudes, behaviors, that when seen together are often identified as passion.

I tell people who are struggling with discovering their passion to start with what they like. It does not have to be what they love, it does not have to be altruistic or grand, it just has to be something that are willing to commit to and have enough desire to carry them through the difficulties of seeing it come to fruition. As long as they have the willingness, and as long as they practice the behavior, they will develop the skills it takes to turn likes into loves, and they will create the neural pathways that support the habits that not only passionate people possess, but successful people as well.

Disappointingly, I have discovered that most people don't have the willingness to make the sacrifices necessary to create the changes that support not only success and passion, but true wealth creation and personal freedom as well. As Morpheus said in The Matrix, "there's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path."

This video is a rare example of passion and the kind of desire and commitment it takes to make your passions become realities. I have adopted a line from it that really resonates as true; "The difference between the poor man and the rich man, the poor man plans for the weekend, the rich man plans the next four years."http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Fighting-your-passion-Inside-Look-4788872.S.251801863?qid=2d96cc09-1eda-4c8c-9d4a-84d3daa6df66&trk=group_most_recent_rich-0-b-cmr&goback=%2Egmr_4788872 

I have found that most of passions did not come to fruit until 3-5 years after I embarked on the journey. Patience is one of the other ingredients often over looked.

Goal Setting For 2013

Hello Friends.

The time of year has come that we recognize our accomplishments, raise our standards, and prepare to reach for greater heights. If you haven’t set your goals for 2013 yet, this blog post will serve as a good start to consider your goals. If you have set your goals, Congratulations, getting them written down is the first step of getting any great goal accomplished.

Hopefully what I share in the following paragraphs you will find helpful.


Have you taken the time to appreciate how far you have come?

It’s important you look back and recognize the progress you have made. Even if you did not reach all of your goals, in fact, even if you didn’t reach any of your goals, you are closer today than you were a year ago. Life is not lived by straight lines and we cannot truly know the path by which our future will travel, but the very nature of time implies progress, if nothing else.

To those of you who feel life is moving you away from your goals, the times in my life that felt I was going backwards and losing control were the times I needed to shed old ideas and behaviors. Without that “loss” I never would have had the gain and perception that the loss created. Even in those times, I was moving closer to my goal, sometimes at an accelerated rate.

Often times we treat our goals as if they are the horizon. The horizon is off in the distance; as we travel forward we are always walking towards the horizon but never reaching it. If our goal is to reach the horizon, we will never stop, because the horizon, by its very definition, is always in the distance. We only create frustration when we continuously set an ideal point ahead of us without recognizing the old ideal points we achieved. Because we are busy striving, we are not appreciating what we have accomplished. If you are constantly striving for something you will never accomplish, how much satisfaction can you truly feel about yourself? A feeling of satisfaction is an important step to achieving your goals, it creates a positive feedback loop on which we gain momentum so we can achieve even more satisfying goals.

Step back, find gratitude for the lessons of the past year, and appreciate yourself and your place in the universe.


What are your expectations?

What do you expect of yourself? What do you expect of your life? What kind of respect do you expect to give and receive in your life?

Expectations are important. They create a silent framework we build our perceptions on and bring the results we witness into our lives. The standards we hold ourselves and others to, are a result of the expectations we create.

Expectations can range from realistic to unrealistic. If we don’t push the expectations we have for ourselves, we don’t grow. If we expect too much growth too soon, we won’t grow either. Like most things in life, expectations are not lived in the extremes, rather the sweet spot is found in the middle. Constantly challenging ourselves, but yet not unrealistically doing so, puts us in the sweet spot for growth and development.

Our expectations of ourselves is how we push ourselves further and develop richer lives. If you think about it, aren’t expectations just goals that have moved from possibility to reality? Usually what we expect from ourselves has already been achieved or we assume we can achieve it, whereas a goal is something that stretches us past our points of comfort and guarantee.

The question then becomes, have you thought about what you expect of yourself and what areas of your life do you expect differently from yourself than you did last year and why? Do you have less resources, so you expect less of your discretionary spending? Or have you invested time and money into yourself and can now expect more of yourself as a result of your investment?

Have you been thinking about what goals to set for yourself in 2013?

If you have worked with me on your goals before, you know that I find it more important to “behavior” our goals than to “attitude” them. While setting goals, having a good attitude about them is important, but defining the behaviour that will make those goals possible is crucial. Without the behaviour clearly defined, you may reach your goal, but it will be at the hands of fate, the odds of you reaching your goal will be severely reduced, and usually negotiated by someone else’s terms.

There are typically three types of goals to start with;

• What do you want/need to have?
• What do you want/need to do?
• What do you want/need to be?

Notice all the above goal types have to do with you. Goals cannot be set for others or done for others. You can only set your own goals. You cannot set goals for other people, nor can they set them for you. You can have common goals with other people, you can work with people who have the same goal as you, but you cannot give someone a goal, they must pick it for themselves.

Take notice as well that “want” is in contrast to “need”.  We will always be limited by our perception of what we need. Need implies a lack when one is without what is needed, and so by it’s very nature need has a stronger emotion behind it than one of want. Wanting is a gain emotion, but by nature, pain and avoidance emotions are stronger motivators than ones of gain and want. If you don’t acknowledge your needs, you will not recognize when the feelings of need are overriding your feelings of want and therefore making you fearful as opposed to challenged or hopeful.

Sometimes, one type of goal needs to be achieved before another type can be achieved. If you need time, money, or other resources, should your goal be resources or resourcefulness? Often times it takes achieving the goal of being resourceful first to achieve the goal of achieving resources.

“Have” or “do” goals are goals that are outer world goals. They can be measured and witnessed by yourself or other people.. “Be” goals are inner world qualities, so there is no objective measurement of them. When you are happy, only you truly know if you are happy, and how happy you are. There is no happy meter that will measure a person’s level of happiness, just as there is no way to “increase” your self esteem, you either have it or you don’t. Self esteem and happiness are both inner world qualities that do not follow the same laws or rules as outer world qualities.


Remember...

Goal setting needs to include creating measurement “points” that allow you to recognize whether or not you are on track. Measurement “points” can be the accumulation of dollars or stuff, points on a scale towards a desired weight, time, distance, or anything that can be measured and measured externally by more than just one person.

These measurement “points” are as crucial as the compass is to navigation. If you set out on a journey and never check your compass heading to make sure you are on track, at minimum you will delay your arrival to your destination, at worse, you end up lost in the wilderness. Every great business plan, goal sheet, or battle plan has checks and balances built into them so adjustments that need to be made, can be. You probably had overestimated, underestimated, or didn’t foresee one obstacle or another as you created your plans. If you can’t measure your progress, you will not know how to adjust to compensate for those unforeseen or unplanned situations. In other words, after is has passed, you won’t know how far the storm blew you off course.


Happy Holidays and Have A Great New Year.

Matt