Pain In Sales, The Most Misunderstood Concept In Sales.

Recently I read a blog post of a popular sales guru titled “Pain-free selling. What a find! Are you pain free?”

In the blog he wrote:

“But “finding the pain” is not a bit funny in sales. In fact it’s somewhere between sad and manipulative. Somewhere between negative and dark. In short, if you want to find pain, become a doctor – people will come to you with pain by the thousands. If you want to make it in sales, there are other things to find.”

He went on to say;

“Chances are, if you go looking for pain, you’ll lose to someone looking for a positive, meaningful, engaging, value-driven relationship. One that not only leads to an order, it leads to a relationship, testimonials, and referrals. Those are pleasures. Find those, and you’ll get rid of the pain in your wallet.”

This sales guru is also known for saying “Looking for Pain” in sales is so “Seventies”.

The sales guru is not completely wrong.  He is correct that people want to buy, not be sold. He is correct that sales should be a career full of fun and excitement, and it is. He is also correct when he says the focus should be on value and not price.

But he is sorely incorrect when he says that sales is not about finding pain.

I am not advocating being manipulative or using some sad technique to fear your clients. I am not advocating operating from a negative or dark space. I do not take pleasure, nor is it my life’s work to find pain, but if I truly understand what motivates people, I will quit talking about the ROI and start listening to the compelling reasons and the consequences of not taking action.

As far as I am concerned, the best doctors are salespeople as well.  And the best salespeople follow the same protocol as the best doctors. In fact, if all salespeople operated like great doctors, there would never have been the stigma of deception the sales profession carries today.  Great doctors ask questions first to better understand the symptoms, then implement different tools that correctly diagnose the problem, finally they write the prescription and/or issues orders.

In contrast, most salespeople walk, full of hope, into the prospects office with the prescription first, as if it were some magic drug that cured all of the prospects ills. If they can just get the prospect to understand all the benefits of this magic drug, the prospect will surely buy.

What those hopeful salespeople don’t understand is that writing a prescription without a diagnosis is malpractice.

Salespeople and sales managers should not be cheerleaders, and those who think they are, never seem to manage their sales forces or their opportunities correctly. These same hopeful salespeople are the ones who have pipeline bloat, the condition that occurs when you don’t remove “never” or “maybe”prospects from the pipeline because you are hopeful that one day they will see the light and finally buy from you. Of course pipeline bloat is the cause of inaccurate sales projections, underachieving salespeople, loss of market share, missed opportunities, and frustrated CEOs.

I have helped thousands of people at some level or another change their perspective, not by appealing to what they can gain, but rather focusing on the consequence of not changing. I call this “Looking for Pain.”  It’s not that people don’t want gain, it’s just they are more willing and will do more to move away from pain than move towards gain.

Maybe the sales guru’s understanding of pain is different from mine. He talks like an exploration of pain is a sadistic need on the salesperson’s part. As if the more I twist your arm the more likely you are to buy.

I don’t need to use pain. I don’t need to generate pain. The prospect already has pain and will tell me about it if I know how to listen for it. The prospect’s pain is the very reason we are talking. Sales is one of the most mistrusted professions in the world, why would anyone subject themselves to a salesperson unless they were in some sort of pain? Why would they meet with sales people unless they couldn’t handle the problem on their own?

I am no exception to the rule.

I avoid pain more than I move toward gain.

This reminds me of an instance in the past when I had a broken molar.

I don’t like the dentist, not only the pain involved, but having someone in my personal space working on my mouth is not very comfortable. Unfamiliar sensations, so close to the center of my perceived identity does not help either.

One day as I was eating, I broke a molar. I felt and removed pieces of it in my mouth, but there was no pain indicating a problem, so I did nothing.

A couple months later, swelling started above that tooth and it throbbed in pain.  I was in pain and could only think about the pain that pulsated from my mouth. I called the dentist to make an appointment and they indicated it would be another 6 weeks before they could fit me in. They called a prescription in for me for some antibiotics and after a few days of taking the pills, my tooth felt better. Five weeks later, I cancelled my appointment, having more important business to tend to, or so I told the receptionist, actually, it was the dread of the dentist’s office that kept me from the appointment.

This cycle of events happened about 5 times.

Now I knew then that it was a bad idea to have a broken tooth in my head.  All kinds of health issues can arise from a broken tooth.  Short term issues are infection, headaches, tiredness, bad breath, and digestion issues.  Long term issues include heart and liver damage as well as some people believe that cancer can be derived from having a broken tooth.  I knew all of this.  These were facts established by the scientific community, but yet I did not respond to the facts.  I responded much stronger to the dread of the dentist’s office than I did to the logic of fixing the tooth.

Then one day cupid struck.

I met a girl quite by accident, and kept bumping into her around town. Fate was at play and I could feel it, and the very afternoon I decided I was going to ask her out on a date, knowing my breath stunk because of the tooth, I went straight to the oral surgeon's office and had the tooth removed that afternoon.

Why did I get it removed?

If you said so I could get the girl you would be wrong.

I had the tooth removed because I knew my breath stunk, and the fear of being rejected because of my bad breath was greater than the fear of the pain that removing the tooth would cause. In other words, because of the perceived and imagined pain of rejection, all the pain associated with the fear of the dentists office paled in comparison.

Two lessons this story illustrates;

The first is that I had to perceive a pain greater than the one I was fearful of to move me past my fears.

The second is, that emotional pain will always trump and be feared more than physical pain.

I know it makes a lot of salespeople feel better to read the sales guru’s post, but I am not in sales to make friends, nor am I in sales to influence people. I am in sales to assist people obtain what they need and get paid well doing it.

Diagnosing sales forces is difficult and there is a lot that can be misrepresented if not understood correctly. Sales management fails most times due to lack of accountability, lack of effective training, and using the wrong personnel. Need for approval, excuse making, money issues, and lack of desire are the biggest reasons salespeople fail, do you know how to tell if your sales force is suffering from any of the above?

Passion, forget what you think it is.

Passion is tricky.

It seems that so many coaches and self help gurus toss the idea around as if it is easy to discover, easy to cultivate, and easy to live.

Many people I talk with have become convinced that they must have passion to be able to move forward with their lives after listening to these well meaning self help gurus. They often believe a necessary ingredient to life is passion and when one feels it lacking in their life, one can be left to feel as if they are lost. Even though they keep looking, spending time journaling, contemplating, and other activities to 'discover' their passion, it remains elusive.

Passion, like so many other inner qualities, needs to be cultivated. When someone comes to me looking for help finding their passion, we may discuss their interests, what they liked as a pre-teen. or some other thing to discuss. Money either has to be removed from the search, or if money is the passion, it must be owned, not justified.

All the above is great, but rarely creates results because passion is not a destination.

If one has attitude issues, those must be addressed first. If one has issues with willingness, this must be addressed. Both desire and commitment are necessary ingredients to passion, if one lacks either one, passion will be impossible. Passion is not a single idea, but rather many ideas, attitudes, behaviors, that when seen together are often identified as passion.

I tell people who are struggling with discovering their passion to start with what they like. It does not have to be what they love, it does not have to be altruistic or grand, it just has to be something that are willing to commit to and have enough desire to carry them through the difficulties of seeing it come to fruition. As long as they have the willingness, and as long as they practice the behavior, they will develop the skills it takes to turn likes into loves, and they will create the neural pathways that support the habits that not only passionate people possess, but successful people as well.

Disappointingly, I have discovered that most people don't have the willingness to make the sacrifices necessary to create the changes that support not only success and passion, but true wealth creation and personal freedom as well. As Morpheus said in The Matrix, "there's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path."

This video is a rare example of passion and the kind of desire and commitment it takes to make your passions become realities. I have adopted a line from it that really resonates as true; "The difference between the poor man and the rich man, the poor man plans for the weekend, the rich man plans the next four years."http://www.linkedin.com/groups/Fighting-your-passion-Inside-Look-4788872.S.251801863?qid=2d96cc09-1eda-4c8c-9d4a-84d3daa6df66&trk=group_most_recent_rich-0-b-cmr&goback=%2Egmr_4788872 

I have found that most of passions did not come to fruit until 3-5 years after I embarked on the journey. Patience is one of the other ingredients often over looked.

Goal Setting For 2013

Hello Friends.

The time of year has come that we recognize our accomplishments, raise our standards, and prepare to reach for greater heights. If you haven’t set your goals for 2013 yet, this blog post will serve as a good start to consider your goals. If you have set your goals, Congratulations, getting them written down is the first step of getting any great goal accomplished.

Hopefully what I share in the following paragraphs you will find helpful.


Have you taken the time to appreciate how far you have come?

It’s important you look back and recognize the progress you have made. Even if you did not reach all of your goals, in fact, even if you didn’t reach any of your goals, you are closer today than you were a year ago. Life is not lived by straight lines and we cannot truly know the path by which our future will travel, but the very nature of time implies progress, if nothing else.

To those of you who feel life is moving you away from your goals, the times in my life that felt I was going backwards and losing control were the times I needed to shed old ideas and behaviors. Without that “loss” I never would have had the gain and perception that the loss created. Even in those times, I was moving closer to my goal, sometimes at an accelerated rate.

Often times we treat our goals as if they are the horizon. The horizon is off in the distance; as we travel forward we are always walking towards the horizon but never reaching it. If our goal is to reach the horizon, we will never stop, because the horizon, by its very definition, is always in the distance. We only create frustration when we continuously set an ideal point ahead of us without recognizing the old ideal points we achieved. Because we are busy striving, we are not appreciating what we have accomplished. If you are constantly striving for something you will never accomplish, how much satisfaction can you truly feel about yourself? A feeling of satisfaction is an important step to achieving your goals, it creates a positive feedback loop on which we gain momentum so we can achieve even more satisfying goals.

Step back, find gratitude for the lessons of the past year, and appreciate yourself and your place in the universe.


What are your expectations?

What do you expect of yourself? What do you expect of your life? What kind of respect do you expect to give and receive in your life?

Expectations are important. They create a silent framework we build our perceptions on and bring the results we witness into our lives. The standards we hold ourselves and others to, are a result of the expectations we create.

Expectations can range from realistic to unrealistic. If we don’t push the expectations we have for ourselves, we don’t grow. If we expect too much growth too soon, we won’t grow either. Like most things in life, expectations are not lived in the extremes, rather the sweet spot is found in the middle. Constantly challenging ourselves, but yet not unrealistically doing so, puts us in the sweet spot for growth and development.

Our expectations of ourselves is how we push ourselves further and develop richer lives. If you think about it, aren’t expectations just goals that have moved from possibility to reality? Usually what we expect from ourselves has already been achieved or we assume we can achieve it, whereas a goal is something that stretches us past our points of comfort and guarantee.

The question then becomes, have you thought about what you expect of yourself and what areas of your life do you expect differently from yourself than you did last year and why? Do you have less resources, so you expect less of your discretionary spending? Or have you invested time and money into yourself and can now expect more of yourself as a result of your investment?

Have you been thinking about what goals to set for yourself in 2013?

If you have worked with me on your goals before, you know that I find it more important to “behavior” our goals than to “attitude” them. While setting goals, having a good attitude about them is important, but defining the behaviour that will make those goals possible is crucial. Without the behaviour clearly defined, you may reach your goal, but it will be at the hands of fate, the odds of you reaching your goal will be severely reduced, and usually negotiated by someone else’s terms.

There are typically three types of goals to start with;

• What do you want/need to have?
• What do you want/need to do?
• What do you want/need to be?

Notice all the above goal types have to do with you. Goals cannot be set for others or done for others. You can only set your own goals. You cannot set goals for other people, nor can they set them for you. You can have common goals with other people, you can work with people who have the same goal as you, but you cannot give someone a goal, they must pick it for themselves.

Take notice as well that “want” is in contrast to “need”.  We will always be limited by our perception of what we need. Need implies a lack when one is without what is needed, and so by it’s very nature need has a stronger emotion behind it than one of want. Wanting is a gain emotion, but by nature, pain and avoidance emotions are stronger motivators than ones of gain and want. If you don’t acknowledge your needs, you will not recognize when the feelings of need are overriding your feelings of want and therefore making you fearful as opposed to challenged or hopeful.

Sometimes, one type of goal needs to be achieved before another type can be achieved. If you need time, money, or other resources, should your goal be resources or resourcefulness? Often times it takes achieving the goal of being resourceful first to achieve the goal of achieving resources.

“Have” or “do” goals are goals that are outer world goals. They can be measured and witnessed by yourself or other people.. “Be” goals are inner world qualities, so there is no objective measurement of them. When you are happy, only you truly know if you are happy, and how happy you are. There is no happy meter that will measure a person’s level of happiness, just as there is no way to “increase” your self esteem, you either have it or you don’t. Self esteem and happiness are both inner world qualities that do not follow the same laws or rules as outer world qualities.


Remember...

Goal setting needs to include creating measurement “points” that allow you to recognize whether or not you are on track. Measurement “points” can be the accumulation of dollars or stuff, points on a scale towards a desired weight, time, distance, or anything that can be measured and measured externally by more than just one person.

These measurement “points” are as crucial as the compass is to navigation. If you set out on a journey and never check your compass heading to make sure you are on track, at minimum you will delay your arrival to your destination, at worse, you end up lost in the wilderness. Every great business plan, goal sheet, or battle plan has checks and balances built into them so adjustments that need to be made, can be. You probably had overestimated, underestimated, or didn’t foresee one obstacle or another as you created your plans. If you can’t measure your progress, you will not know how to adjust to compensate for those unforeseen or unplanned situations. In other words, after is has passed, you won’t know how far the storm blew you off course.


Happy Holidays and Have A Great New Year.

Matt

Donkeys, Fishing Poles, and Education.

The world class understands the difference between having and being. The word educate comes from the Latin word 'educo' meaning to educe, to draw out, to develop within. Does your 'education' help you develop your inner being, does it help draw out your essence? Or is education something you have acquired, like a cart of books tied to a donkey? The books do nothing for the donkey accept increase his burden, and if knowledge does not contribute to your being then it only increases your burden. The proper use of knowledge is as important, if not more so, than the knowledge itself.

The idea that learning should be measured by how much "what" you have acquired is ineffective. Rather learning should be measured by how much "how" you have acquired. It is through "how" that change occurs, not "what." When we use learning to acquire more and more "what" we make great Jeopardy contestants, but when we use learning to acquire more and more "how" we make great artisans, great teachers, great human beings. Learning 'what' a fishing pole is, is a far cry from learning 'how' a fishing pole works. With the former, you collect knowledge, with the latter, you collect fish.

The Paradigm Shift

Often times, we come to conclusions on very little factual information. Most of our opinions and conclusions come from the feelings we get, not from the facts on hand. In fact, often times when we do get the facts, a paradigm shift occurs, leading us to a different opinion or conclusion.

One evening, it was about ten at night, I pulled into a gas station to get gas. As I only had cash on me, I had to go to the clerk and pay for my gas before I could start pumping it. As I got out of the car and headed to the kiosk to pay for the gas, I noticed a man staring me down with what I concluded was a frustrated/angry look. He stared me down on my way to the kiosk, and stared me down as I returned to the pump. My internal thought stream was defensive and threatened. I started imagining the conflict this man was going to create for me. My heart started to pump and my mind started to race. I looked around for accomplices of his, I started to think about what I could use as a weapon to protect myself if it came to that, the fight/flight operatives started to take root in my mind.

Just as I was approaching my car, he approached me and as he did, his face relaxed, he started to look like a little boy who had lost his parents. He cleared his throat and said "I am sorry for bothering you, but I was robbed last night, and I don't have enough gas to get to work tomorrow. Would you mind lending me some money so I can go to work? I will be glad to take your address and send you the money when I get paid."

Needless to say, my muscles relaxed, my heart quit thumping. Once I had the facts, I realized he wasn't staring me down to create conflict, rather he was conflicted because he had to ask for money/help something he was uncomfortable doing. What appeared to be a threatening moment turned into a moment to help a fellow human out. One minute I thought I was going to have to protect myself, the next moment, I am helping out a person in need.

When the paradigm shift occurred, it created a whole new context for me to see the situation with.

Another time when I was at a coffee shop. I met a man who had no problem telling me about how great of a person he was. And he was great and had done some pretty cool things, but as he spoke and reminisced about his past, I saw him as a braggart,  someone who was very proud of himself and any respect I had for him was quickly fading.

We saw each other several more times in the coffee shop, and I would always see him in this light of being a braggart and would avoid conversation with him for the most part, other than the required niceties.

Then one day as we sat next to each other, we started another conversation and he told me about his wife and the illnesses she was going through. She required help every day. She was wheelchair bound, she required dialysis, she was diabetic, she had a deteriorating muscle disease as well. She required assistance for hours everyday, and he had been providing that assistance to her everyday for over twenty years.

As anyone will tell you that has had to do it, it is not easy taking care of a sick loved one. It not only requires patience and strength, but the mental fortitude that is required sometimes feels like you are required to be superhuman to make it through the day.

After that conversation, the paradigm in which I saw this man changed. I no longer even thought of him as a braggart, but rather, had deep respect for him and what he has committed himself to.

As humans, we are all subject to opinions and early judgments. If we can avoid confirmation bias, if we can quit assuming we have all the information on a subject or person, and if we can be open to having our opinions questioned, then we can allow ourselves to experience the paradigm shift that I have described in the stories above. It is only when we allow people/situations to be more than the opinions we have of them that we can truly make a difference in our lives and in the lives of the people that we interact with.

Life Is A Roller Coaster

Life Is A Roller Coaster.

Are you enjoying the ride?  Is your life a thrill or do you find yourself full of fear and anxiety? Is your life a ride you want to ride again, or are you waiting for the coaster to stop so you can get off?

Often times it just takes a few perspective changes and self awareness exercises to change the landscape and approach to your life.  At TPPDC, we teach people every week how to implement those changes and make those changes last forever.

If your not enjoying the ride, isn't it time you do?

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TPPDC

The Power Of Words, Turned Outside In.

The video above is touching.  It contains a great message, that often times it is not what we say, but rather, how we say it, that makes the difference.  I watched this video several times, thought about the implications when creating marketing to deliver a particular message about a particular product or service and wondered how many great products, services and ideas never saw success because of a poorly worded message.  I imagine the number is in the millions.

How many messages do we process on a daily basis?  Some studies indicate that the number is in the thousands.  What if each one was worded as well as this one, each one had an effective impact?  What if the most important messages we process through the day could have this impact?  What are the most important messages we process through the day? The ones we tell ourselves all day long, they have the most impact on what manifests in our lives on a day to day basis.

Our self talk is the single most important thing to be aware of.  Our self talk not only reveals our mindset, it determines how we are going to react throughout the day and it is what makes it possible (or impossible) for us to recognize opportunity when it comes our way. If you have never observed your self talk, it may be surprising.  We are our harshest critics, we manipulate the past to make it feel better, and we project into the future our worries and concerns. We have imaginary conversations that will never come to pass.  We use language with ourselves we would never use with anyone else. We misinterpret other people's reactions, we assume the wrong answers (though often times we delude ourselves into thinking we are mind readers), and we filter everything that comes to us through our self talk.  If our self talk is negative and debasing, what we experience will be negative and debasing, but if our self talk is healthy and supportive, there is no limit to what we can accomplish.  Our challenges become rewarding, and life's twists and turns become a source for excitement. Gratitude replaces regret, accountability replaces victim hood. The key to all self improvement begins with an inventory of and changing of your self talk.